@sween Gravity. What a Downer.

@stalefries Error 4:04am (Sleep Not Found)

@madisonmckenzie Reality Is for People Who Can’t Handle Science Fiction.

@Studiolit I Wish Procrastination Was a Marketable Skill

@andyliang I get my piranhas from the Amazon. Amazon.com, that is.

@merokoyui A programmer is an organism that turns coffee into a software.

@mnhanson I want to work for a technical support line so I can crush the hopes and dreams of a generation.

OK, I love sarcastic humor and because I love Twitter, twitter.threadless.com is a new favorite hangout of mine. The following tweets just struck me as funny and several are already on t-shirts. Consider this one big RT :

• @sween You say I’m coloring outside the lines. I say I’m making new lines.
• @MyFrappaccino When God gives you melons, you know you’re dyslexic.
• @Martiandrivein Twitter: Where it’s @
• @hannaheartbrake If guns kill people, then spoons make people fat.
• @leahclifford Can’t wait for the day I wake and all the trending topics on Twitter are zombie related. Because I’ll know what it means. And I’ll be ready.
• @Khanvict23 If you give a person a fish you feed them for a day, teach a person to use Twitter and they won’t bother you for weeks.
• @SdotFOSTER I’ve never seen anyone’s death certificate suggest the cause of death was breaking a chain letter…
• @miconian There are people I want to unfollow who aren’t even on Twitter.
• @moorsee Dance like nobody’s watching. Tweet like nobody’s following.
• @secretsquirrel Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam.
• @jdtatum No one has twittered in 6 minutes. I can only assume that all of my friends are dead.
• @cleversimon I’m with @stupid.
• @Tony_D Sadly, my day requires pants.
• @nintechno I wish I could CTRL+ALT+DEL people.
• @GaryJBusey I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of an accident.
• @Khanvict23 Wondering if its cool in China to get English words tattooed on their arms.
• @nodabear89 It’s not @you…it’s @me
• @IamMPB I’d damn you to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see you 5 days a week.
• @Skittle_Brains I always misread “Marital Status” as “Martial Status” on forms. Which confuses me even more when there isn’t a “Ninja” check box.
• @Nottabadword I’m consistent, just not all the time.